Rants and raves about all the latest in video games and other forms of mindless entertainment.

June 14, 2005

Post E3: Revolution or Devolution?

"We came, we saw, we conquered"

..is what I'd like to say regarding Nintendo's presence at E3. Ostensibly, Sony and Microsoft had huge showings. Trailers upon demos upon divulged information; almost nothing was left to doubt after Sony and Microsoft took a bow. Nintendo on the other hand, had a mixed bag of non-sense, and managed to retract promises once again. This was supposed to be Nintendo's year. Revolutionary gameplay was supposedly going to take the world by storm, and the mantra "try hard, die young" seems to be Nintendo's goal. We were promised a full unveiling of the Revolution at E3. What we were given, was nothing short of a disaster. A few paltry tidbits regarding Nintendo's online ambitions, and a hint at backwards of compatibility. Three seconds of Metroid Prime 3, and we're left wanting. Let's iterate the fact that Nintendo is behind. Far behind. In fact, they're so far behind, they've mostly abandoned the GameCube as a viable platform for software. Releasing a few key titles, and leaving the rest to third parties which again leaves the library dry. Promising backwards compatibility and "revolutionary graphics and gameplay", Iwata expected everyone to take his word for it. "Just believe me" he says, "I've never let you down before". News flash you english illiterate dumbass: you make mistakes daily. No one takes you seriously anymore, and every decision you make drags Nintendo down. You're the brilliant mastermind behind Paper Mario 2, which I must say explains a lot.


Revolution's revolutionary aspect is that it's invisible. You use your imagination to play the games, and never have to lift a finger, or pinch a penny. Jokes aside, Revolution? What Revolution? All we managed to get was a little black box (strikingly similar to the Ps2) that promised backwards compatibility, online environments, and downloadable content. Welcome to 2005 Nintendo. You're barely even trying to keep up with technology standards. Washing away the flowery buzz words like "online", "backwards compatibility" and "innovation", we were left nothing more than a shell. We were promised the controller was going to be the revolutionary crutch of the Revolution (still codenamed), but Nintendo refused to show it to us. At first they promised us "it really is Revoluionary, please trust us", and claimed they didn't want to display the controller for fear of having their ideas stolen. What I'm about to say I mean in the cruelest sense possible: No one has ever stolen any single one of your ideas. Ever. The venerable Shigeru Miyamoto even admits that they were not the first to the market with the analog controller or the rumble pack. Rather, he covers it up by claiming "We announced it first, but the competition beat us to the market". Making promises is not acting. It isn't Sony's fault they managed to out-analog and out-rumble you before you could even dot the "i"s and cross the "t"s on your promise.

Those who wish to hear Iwata make this claim allowed, click here.

Aside from that, Mr. Miyamoto was concerned everyone was going to steal his "innovative" (not really) Water Pack notion from Super Mario Sunshine. To this day, years later, no one has ever bothered to imitate it. In fact, no one has ever bothered to imitate Nintendo in the last ten years (period). It is with this vain history of paranoia that Nintendo refused to show us why their next console is Revolutionary. As it turns out, there was more to the story than Nintendo was telling us. Apparently Nintendo is undecided on what the controller actually is, leading anyone with common sense to believe that Nintendo didn't just not want to show the controller, they couldn't. Nintendo promised that they were not going to be late this time around, and they won't be behind; and now they're behind. Soon after that, we learned that they're also going to be late again as well, proclaiming that Revolution will launch sometime in Fall 2006, decidedly long after both Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 will have hit the market. It's the motor force of incompetence that's driving Nintendo down, and it's mistakes like this that Nintendo seems to think are perfectly natural that are causing their once household name to be ecclipsed by Sony and Microsofts Playstation and Xbox brandnames.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


To say that no one has ever copied Nintendo controllers is truly ignorant. The N64 was released before the Dual Analog Controller. The Rumble pack came out before the Dual Shock. And even if I am wrong, Sony still copied Nintendo. Just because Nintendo took their time to make sure it was perfect and Sony got it out first does not mean that Sony didn't copy them. Also, using the controller "family tree" I linked to, you can also see where others have used Nintendo's ideas.
Again you bring up Paper Mario TTYD, which is a much better gae than you gave it credit for.

June 14, 2005 9:43 AM

Blogger Adam said...

There's a lot of difference between "copying" and "being inspired be". To say the Playstation controller wasn't influenced by Nintendo's SNES controller would be ignorant. But to say they copied it would also be so.

Referring to your controller map, I don't think I've ever laughed harder (in the past week). According to your "source", the Genesis controller was is a "copy" of the SNES controlle, which is just plain idiotic. Also, if you examin the Genesis controller, and then look at the N64 controller, you can see that going by your definition (which is narrow) Nintendo copied SEGA's Genesis controller. I should also point out your site even suggests that Microsoft and Sony copied the Wavebird's design with the 360 and Ps3 controllers, when ostensibly, they are entire different devices altogether and share no similarities.

June 14, 2005 10:27 AM

Anonymous Mega Phoenix said...

Good stuff adam. nice to see that you can see the obvious and that you can say it without being scared to.

i don't know if you mentioned it, but with the tech standards, nintendo isnt including a HDD or utilising HD graphics. so they are "less than barely" keeping up with the standards of the next gen.

but yes, keep up the good work, i like visiting here and see intelligent articles :)

June 14, 2005 10:36 AM

Anonymous Bob said...

Yes, Nintendo is making mistakes. But at least they're trying. They can't just dismiss Xbox and and Playstation, so they're slowly trying to play "catch up".
HDTV isn't really a big deal, well to me, anyways. a majority of the people who probably will buy a next gen console don't have HDTV.

June 15, 2005 6:04 AM

Anonymous The actual Mega Phoenix said...

^ thats called impersonating someone else for slanderous means. its also something you can get in shit for, so i suggest you don't be a fag and just say things that are logical instead of saying "wah wah, i dont like people that speak the truth so i cry and make up shit about them".

he he, n00bs.

June 15, 2005 8:52 AM

Blogger CPT PYRO said...

You've made some good points and I too am frustrated with Nintendo. I was really hoping for a "revolution" in the gaming market. I enjoyed your post.

June 15, 2005 1:57 PM

Blogger Kyle said...

Not to be bringing up old arguements, but where in the web site does it say the Genesis controller is a copy of the SNES controller?

July 14, 2005 8:28 AM


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